When we rush into this world, it seems that everything is
predestined, when we will meet what kind of people, what kind
of stories, and some of them accidentally become accidents. I
believe that the pursuit of happiness is the cultivation of
everyone’s life. Some people are so happy that they can meet
the right person at the right time and stay with them until they
are old. However, after going through many trials and
tribulations, most of them are missed, and there are some lucky
ones who will eventually meet again.
No matter what, love is the best thing, how to manage this love
attentively, ferment and continue it is very important.
In the cases I have worked with in the past, many helpers often
complain “Teacher, he didn’t treat me like this before, why has it
changed now?” Teacher, our relationship has lost its initial
passion, will it continue? What shall I do?” Teacher, she is not
warm to me now, is anyone out there?”
Questions like this are always plentiful. Whether there’s a rift in
your relationship or not, we need to think about it. The initial stages of every relationship are full of sweetness and happiness,
but as time goes by, when the passion fades, life naturally tends
to be flat. How can we keep our love fresh?
1. Give each other “special space”
When any couple begins to get together, they are so attracted to
each other that they want to be together every day and feel that
everything is the best for each other. However, in the process of
getting along, their feelings will gradually cool down with the
appearance of aesthetic fatigue, and over time, the rosy red will
turn into mosquito blood. During this time, it is better to leave a
certain “special space” for the other person, rather than ask the
other person to do it with intimacy at the beginning of the
relationship and let the other person slowly grow disgusted.
Boys and girls, we all need to have our own personal space to
deal with our own things, especially boys are more obvious. For
example, we often meet in our life, boys go home from work to
play games and watch football, girls will ask their girlfriends to
go shopping and catch Korean dramas. If both parties do not
have a certain amount and understanding of each other at this
time, they will complain and conflict. In fact, think about it calmly.
Everyone is tired during the day, and when they get home at night, they just want to get away from the tiredness of the day’s
work and relax. If at this time, the partner is not only intolerant
and understanding, but also complain and complain. As time
goes on, cracks will appear in the relationship.
So sometimes, it’s really important to give each other a “special
space.” At this time, each person is an individual. We should
learn to be alone and appreciate ourselves, only when two
people get together again can we keep the freshness. So, we
should learn to find each other’s caves when we are together. In
a long-term relationship, giving each other some independent
space will be good for the development of the relationship.
2. Learn to communicate positively and effectively
This is very important for every couple and we must work hard to
learn it. Improving communication skills can not only effectively
avoid misunderstandings between two people, but also express
ourselves correctly and enhance the relationship.
I have learned a lot from the book “Nonviolent Communication”,
sometimes the way of communication directly affects our
relationship.There is a question I often ask my clients during counseling. For
example, if your girlfriend is always late for appointments, how
do you express your displeasure? In fact, most people have the
same answer, just “How did you get here?” Look at the time, I’m
in a hurry “etc. At first glance, there may seem to be no problem,
but these words are full of accusations and complaints. What
girlfriend would be comfortable listening to that? Then there
might be a sudden fight, and our date is off the table.
What’s the right way to say it? Don’t blame, don’t complain, but
state the facts + express your thoughts. In the examples above,
such as: “Honey, I’m worried that you’re an hour late as we
agreed”, or “Honey, it saddens me that you’re a little late for
every appointment”, etc., if things were phrased differently, they
would definitely get more done with less.
